Oops

It's already been a month since my last post? Oops.

October - January is pretty crazy in my household with birthdays and holidays. Even more so this year with all that's been going on lately.

I haven't seen Ryan since Addison's birthday. He's been working in New Brunswick for a month straight, comes home for one weekend, and goes right back out again. I don't know how Nicole has kept her sanity.

That would be why he was unable to make the trip to see Grandad. My parents and I went for a long, highway-free drive to see him last month. At 91 years old, he is still in great shape. He lives in a second floor walk up, loves walking around town, and is still as quick as a whip. Sadly, after nearly ten years of being in remission, his cancer has returned. He was hoping he could avoid treatment but had to go through surgery this week to have his larynx completely removed. Surgery went well and he'll be moved to a treatment centre soon. All three girls will be with him daily, rotating between them, going two at a time. Hopefully I'll soon be able to introduce him to Isaac and Addison, and Ryan to his family.

My parents moved this weekend. It's the best decision for everyone, but I'm still a little sad to see my childhood house sit empty.

Megan and I have started making and selling our greeting cards! She was in the right place at the right time, and set up a deal with a woman in her town who runs a boutique. She liked what she saw and put in a few orders right away. We're hoping to find a second location here and offer cards for all occasions, invitations, and various other paper party supplies. Happy Mailbox is taking off!

Isaac is still working away in the hospital. Addison and I went to see him recently and it was a total bust. She got into everything at the apartment and wouldn't sleep at night. There isn't much within walking distance and our attempted shopping trips to the Eaton Centre and Vaughan Mills mall were complete failures. I don't plan on bringing her back any time soon.

Addison is picking up new words every day. Just this week she started saying "See day-der" (See you later) when someone leaves. She's obsessed with jumping on the couch and pushing her baby in her doll stroller. I don't remember the last time she slept through the night. The doctor thinks she might be experiencing night terrors :(
 

This is not fun.

I've been such a grump since I got hurt. It's beyond frustrating to not be able to take care of yourself, never mind a toddler. I've gone out to the mall twice, just to get out of the house. I'm going stir-crazy. It's difficult, but manageable at this point. Thankfully this injury is not nearly as bad as those in the past, which means I'm in much better shape at two weeks than I was then at a month. However, that does not mean I'm getting off scott-free. I still need help getting dressed, and getting in and out of the bath tub. I use crutches to slowly go up the stairs, then slide them down next to me as I go downstairs on my bum. I can't put weight on my bad leg yet, which means I can't properly pick up Addison, and put her down in her crib. I can only hold her if I'm sitting comfortably and lift her up in a certain way. She obviously doesn't understand, and it's heartbreaking to hear "Mama up! Up! Maaamaaaaa!" all day. Being on crutches means I might be able to get from room-to-room, but I cannot carry anything. I eat my lunch standing at the counter beside my fridge, and let Addison snack off a plate on the floor. Getting her changed and dressed is quite a feat. I'm kind of glad that it's been so rainy and gross lately, because I feel slightly less guilty for not taking Addison out to run around. When it's just us, my only option is to sit with her on the deck, when what she really wants to do is run laps around the entire house, and go for long walks around town. I had to turn down a job offer, and pull out of soccer. I didn't get to go to Ottawa for my birthday. While Isaac is at work, Addison and I have spent time with my mom, Nicole, and Kerry. They've been a great help. I know that these are tiny, insignificant problems in the grand scheme of things, but it's still pretty sucky when it happens to you. I should be out of this immobilizer by the weekend, and into a smaller brace, still with crutches. I meet with the doctor on Tuesday for another follow-up. Cross your fingers for a quick, easy recovery.
 

Happy Easter!

Addison's second Easter was a success, even if she is afraid of the Easter bunny. It was busy, but still pretty low-key.

I took her to the Easter bunny at the mall last week. She was in such a good mood. She waved to the bunny (and everyone else around her) and said hi, with a big smile on her face. Then I set her down on his lap and I thought the world was going to end. She was not having it. Picture to follow once I get it scanned.

Addison spent the night with the girls on Friday, for her second-ever sleepover. Isaac and I had a little visit with them, then said our goodbyes. She was good until we got to the stairs and she realized we were leaving. I guess she cried for a while but eventually calmed down, and everyone slept through the night. Ryan dropped her off at 8:30 the next morning. Isaac and I had done absolutely nothing all night, and loved every second of it.

On Saturday, after nap, we went to Isaac's Uncle Ray's Easter party. They go all out for their parties, whatever the occasion. There were craft stations, a parade, an Easter bunny (another bust; Addison screamed), and a scavenger hunt. My hunting team was awesome. They were 1.5, 1.5, 1.5, 2.5, and 2.5. Hilarity ensued.

We hid eggs outside around our house on Sunday for Addison to find. She did pretty well, and got the hang of it quickly. It took a while to find just six eggs, though, because she wanted to play with every single one as she found it. The park finally dried up so we took her there (for the first time this year) after nap. That night I made ham, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and rolls for dinner.

I forgot to take a picture of her Easter basket. Isaac and I didn't get her much, but it still ended up taking over the entire Dining Room table. Addison and I dyed eggs and I put together a little basket for her, but everyone's gifts for her took over the entire Dining Room table. Kasey got her a duck, bunny ears that smell like chocolate, and a book. Grandma and Grandpa G got her a book and two shirts. Nana and Grandpa H got her some outdoor shovel toys, and a book. Ryan and Nicole got her bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and finger paint.

Today Isaac took the day off work and we went to his parents for turkey dinner. Addison loved all the good food this weekend and was in a great mood, as long as no bunny costumes were around. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend as much as we did!

Customer service rant

I spoke too soon re: Addison feeling better. She decided lastnight to get up at 11:30 pm and scream like she's never screamed before until 3 am. THREE! She finally went back down then, and decided to get up at 7. She didn't take a nap today, so (needless to say) I was ready to lose my mind by the time bed time rolled around. She didn't up going to bed until around 8:30, so hopefully she's now down for the count. *Knocks wood

Mom came in after work around 5:30 and we went for a coffee. It was nice to get out of the house, even into the shit-tastic weather. We came home and I used her phone to call Virgin. My cell has been acting up lately, in that I can hear the caller but they cannot hear me. This obviously means I can't call Customer Support for help. I looked on their website, and there is no other way of contacting Customer Service. They had sent me a loaner phone this weekend, but it's not working. I put my battery and SIM card in, and nothing happens. It's not reading. I know it's not my card because it works just fine in my own phone.

So I call at 7:15 and get put straight through to someone who knows absolutely nothing about my phone. "Oh" is his answer to most things. He tells me to take the card out and put it back in. Still not reading. "Oh," he says. He put me on hold twice and asked for the phone's model number three times before finally telling me he didn't know what the problem was. "Anything else I can help you with today?" "I'll call back, thanks."

I call right back (7:52) and wait on hold for 7 or 8 minutes before getting an answer. This guy asks me to turn the phone off and back on four times. Still, the card does not read. It says "Activate with no SIM card?" and my only options are Accept or Reject. He tells me to hit Reject and that the phone will turn off and back on again on its own. Instead, it turns off and stays that way. He got me to do this four times. "Hmm," he says. "I thought it would come back." He put me on hold for five minutes, and came back to tell me I need to buy a new SIM card. He said he'd credit me $10 to buy a new one "whenever you have some time to go out" and then we can try again. The nearest place to buy one is half an hour away and I have no way to get there before the weekend. I'm not going to waste my time buying something when I know that's not the problem. Like I said, my card works just fine in my own phone and this loaner is the exact same model. Surely there must be another option? I'm still relatively calm at this point as I explain my predicament. He puts me on hold.

And I wait.

And I wait.

And I pick Addison up, and put her down, then pick her back up again, then put her back down.

And I wait some more.

Addison wants up, Addison wants down. Addison wants to play with Mommy's phone.

I have a picnic with Mom and Addison on the Living Room floor as I continue waiting. I show Mom the oh-so-relevant Oatmeal comic regarding customer service phone calls. We discuss filing a compliant with their customer service. I decide I'm going to speak to a supervisor once he comes back on the line.

20 minutes later (21 to be exact), the terrible hold music stops and my (Mom's) phone is on its main page. He hung up on me.

At this point, I'm fed up. Mom puts Addison to bed and I call back once more. 6 minutes before a rep answers. I tell her right from the get-go that I was put on hold for 20 minutes and hung up on. My loaner phone is not working and we need to fix this now. I'm taking care of a one year old by myself and we do not have a land line. I had never had a problem with Virgin until now, but this was more than enough for one night.

She tells me she's a supervisor filling in because of the high call volume tonight. When I ask how to file a complaint she offers to take it down for me. No thanks. I'll be doing my best to go above her once I get off this damn phone (which is now dying, by the way). She didn't ask anything about my loaner phone model, serial number, or card. She decided on her own that the SIM needs to be replaced. Why it works on my phone and not in another of the same model is beyond me.

Option A: $10 credit for a new SIM, which I wouldn't be able to get until Friday at the earliest. If this works, I go home, call Virgin, and hope they can activate the loaner phone. I then send my old one in and wait 10-14 days for my original to be sent back to me in working condition, then return the loaner. If it doesn't work, "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and discuss compensation at that point."

Option B: Send the loaner phone back and we'll send you a new loaner in 3-5 business days and try all over again.

Either way, I'm out of a phone for about a week and I just wasted an hour of my time getting screwed around with Customer Service. Thanks, assholes. What am I supposed to do in the mean time? "Well I could set your old phone back up, if you'd like."

Oooh right, my old phone. You mean the one that DOES NOT WORK? The one I'm supposed to have already sent out to you to get fixed? If I could get away with using that phone right now, I wouldn't be having this conversation right now, would I?

I tell her I want to do both options A and B, and I want to discuss compensation. She offers a $40 credit. Not a great deal, in my opinion, considering I'm out of a phone for at least a week and it's already been acting up for eight days. She put the $10 on the account and put me on hold. Again. When she came back she told me she had put in an order for a new loaner if this new card does not work, and gave me a credit for $55.

I'm already in the midst of a complaint against Xplornet with both the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and the Commissioner for Complaints for Telecommunications Services (CCTS). Maybe I'll add Virgin to my list as well.

Update

Final midterm marks for both classes: 70
I'm not happy, but I'm sick of complaining. Onward and upward.

In other news, I took Addison to the cenotaph for Remembrance Day today. We followed the parade down to the park and watched the ceremony with Nicole. It was cold, but nice. I plan on taking her every year until she's in school.

After that, we came home and she had a wonderful 2.5 hour nap. Mom came over and we went to town to get some Christmas shopping done. She got a bunch of goodies. I can scratch Dad off my list now. I also picked up a Christmas sleeper for Addison (on sale for 8.99 + no tax day + 20% discount = $7.20), and a toy each for Morgan and Hannah (that Nicole had suggested). I still need to get them books. And I have no idea what to get Isaac, as per usual. He'll be the last one I buy for. So far all I can think of is coveralls. Boring, but practical. I'll keep wracking my brain...

I haven't decided what to get Addison yet. Her quilt will (hopefully) be done by then, which is a huge thing. Not sure what she'll need. I feel like she was just bombarded with toys for her birthday. It's hard to stay on top of everything. I'd really like to stick with the "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read." This year that could be _____ (a big, fun present), the quilt, a holiday dress/PJs, and a Christmas book. I don't know. Maybe something will catch my eye in the next two weeks. I really want to get this done before finals roll around, though.

PS: It's 1:19 am. Wtf? Why am I still awake?

Happy Birthday, Stinky Poo

I can't believe tomorrow's the big day. At 11:59 tomorrow morning, you, my baby girl, will be one year old. I wish Daddy could be here to see you when you wake up in the morning, but he's stuck at work until Thursday. I know he'll be in Toronto thinking about you, and all of the amazing things you've accomplished this year.

At this time last year, we had just come home from the hospital. I was making no progress, so the doctor's had scheduled an induction for October 26. I went in for a different procedure to get that started on the night of the 25. In typical 'unlucky T.J.' fashion, my water broke as soon as we got home, so we basically turned right around and headed back to the hospital. 16.5 hours later, you were here.

Where has this past year gone? Sometimes I look back at newborn pictures and find it hard to believe that you were ever that small. Other times I feel like just yesterday, you were learning to crawl, and the day before that you were learning to sit up on your own. Now you're a walking, talking, soon-to-be toddler.

You love being outside more than anything. It doesn't even matter what we're doing. You can be having an absolute meltdown, and your face lights up the minute you take a breath of fresh air. You say "Mama" and "Dada" somewhat regularly, even if you don't know exactly what those words mean just yet. When Nana tries to get you to say her name, you laugh every single time. You dance like a rock star, shaking your butt and wiggling your shoulders. Adele is your favourite, but Beyonce has also got you moving on more than one occasion. You decided a few days ago that you're too cool to crawl, so you're walking more often than not these days. You like to tickle Mommy's feet, saying "Daydayday," and then laugh about it. You were pretty proud of yourself when you recently learned how to flush the toilet. You love playing with the volleyball, and keyboard, and it's hard to keep you away from any sort of electronics.

You're such a happy, easy-going baby. With four teeth currently coming in at once (making eight total), it can be an absolute nightmare for everyone at times, but your smiles and laughs get us all through the day. It's all worth it, just to see your face light up. The most amazing feeling is when I see the look in your eye every Friday night when Daddy comes home from work. It usually takes you a minute to figure out what's going on as he comes into the house and calls your name, but then it clicks. You smile and laugh, and stomp your way over to him.

You've taught me patience and how to enjoy the little things in life. Sometimes it's hard to be alone all week with a cranky baby, while trying to do school, and keep a clean house. Then I look over at you crawling into the cabinet beside the crockpot eating your own sock. Sometimes all it takes to make you happy is letting you roll an empty container across the floor, or pretending to sneeze (which always makes you laugh).

This year has been amazing. Thank you for being such a wonderful little girl. I'm so happy to have you in my life and I cannot wait to see what this year brings. Happy Birthday, to my favourite little girl in the world. I hope you enjoy it.

Mommy and Daddy love you more than words can describe.

- Mommy xo

These are just a few questions I had

Compiments of Ali:
1. Five ways to win your heart: Hugs, acoustic guitar, smooth Kraft Peanut Butter, laughter, remembering the little things

2. Something you feel strongly about: Wrongful convictions, equal rights, music/gym/extra-curriculars throughout elementary and highschool, animal cruelty

3. A book you love: Anne of Green Gables, by LM Montgomery

4. Bullet your whole day:

• 730: Wake up, and don't go back to sleep, as per usual, thus dealing with a crank-ass all day
• 930: Drop of Mom's chairs at her place, get a load of manure from the farm for the new plants and have breakfast with MIL
• 1130: Come home with a sleepy baby that refuses to nap
• 1145: CRANK the music as loud as we possibly can against the door leading into the apartment, thanks to Rachel insisting on playing the sax at all times of day/night. We thought this might piss her off and teach her a lesson. It didn't work but it was funny, and therefore worth it. We went for a walk with it blaring.
• 1200: Visit Ryan and Nicole and their cranky babies. ADDISON TOOK HER FIRST STEPS! She walked back and forth about ten times, between Nicole and Isaac. So exciting!
• 1245: Go for a quick bike ride back up to the house with Isaac. The sax had stopped, so we shut off the music. Addison, in the mean time, didn't even care that we had left. She was content laying on the floor with Nicole, eating canteloupe.
• 230: Time to go home and clean up, and have a bite to eat. Perogies and bacon for dinner.
• 315: Isaac left for the week
• 316: Addison went right down in her nap, without a fuss, as soon as Isaac left. Go figure.
• 518: She's still sleeping, as I write. She hasn't made a peep.

5. Things you want to say to an ex: There is one person I'd like to say sorry to, face-to-face, but I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity to do so.

6. Your views on mainstream music: When I listen to the latest top 20/any billboard these days, I imagine Neil Young and Bob Dylan tuning in and keeling over. What happened to song writers? Where have they all gone?

7. Five pet peeves: People who don't walk properly through hallways and sidewalks (not moving over, walking on the left, not turning wide etc), chewing with your mouth open, the misuse of homonyms, flicking quickly - and nonstop through TV or radio stations when you're with other people, the one student in lecture who asks 800000 questions

8. Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and toast, Lunch: Grilled cheese, yogurt and canteloupe, Supper: Perogies and bacon

9. Education is essential.

10. Put your music player on shuffle and list the first ten songs:

1. 100 Miles: Blake Shelton
2. You'd Better Go: Charlie Major
3. Rock and Roll Music: The Beatles
4. County Line: Sugarland
5. The Best Man: Blaine Larsen
6. New York State of Mine: Billy Joel
7. Where Are You: Classified
8. A Long December: Counting Crows
9. Sweet Dreams: Beyonce
10. This Year's Love: David Gray

11: Your family: Isaac and I met a million years ago when I started school with his twin brothers, and my brother started school with his sister. We've been dating for two years and have a beautiful 10 month old daughter Addison who is my splitting image, but thankfully has his laid-back demeanor.

12: Five guys whom you find attractive: Isaac, Tim McGraw, Ryan Gosling, Colin Ferrel, Ryan Reynolds

13. Your opinion about your body and how you feel about it: I'm starting to accept my brand-new, post-baby body. I'm smaller now than I was before I had Addison, and that's taking some getting used to. My belly makes me laugh, but it's all part of Mommyhood, no?

14. What you wore today: 3/4 sleeve black plaid shirt, jeans

15. Your zodiac sign and if it fits you: Taurus. Absolutely.

16. Something you always think "What if" about: I don't really think this often. Honestly. Maybe if I had finished school sooner or not gone back to highschool for a year. Maybe if I hadn't gotten pregnant so soon, or while I was in Ottawa. What if I hadn't gone to SK when I was 16? I don't know, that last one was long ago.

17. Something you're proud of: School. Are you sensing a theme here? I love school. I really do. I'm the first one in my family to really pursue a post-secondary education, and I am damn determined to finish it. It's important to me and my family, and I can't wait to show my daughter what I've accomplished, and how it's paid off for me.

18. A problem you have had: How about today's problem of having a cranky, cranky baby? *rips hair out

19. Five items you lust after: I wish I had a car, a coffee maker, more money, a degree, and braces

20. Your fears: Clowns, rivers, thunderstorms, anything happening to Addison

21. Your future: I hope to settle down in the woods with Isaac, Addison, and one more baby, as well as a goat, sheep, donkey, dog, and cat. He'll be working part-time or only during the Summer, and I will have used my degree to get a job in my field.

22. Your academics: See above and recent posts. I'm getting there.

23. Something that you miss: Having Kelly and Renee around all the time. I also miss having BBQs and nights at TG with the boys in Ottawa. I miss walking around campus. I miss Christina, before she moved way up north. I miss the flexibility of the call centre, and all the perks that came from being a lead.

24. Five words/phrases that make you laugh: Funky monkey (Renee), Bishop Jesus (Isaac)

25. Something you're currently worrying about: Finishing school online with a toddler running around, then paying for it.

26. Things you like and dislike about yourself: I'm honest, but sometimes to a fault. I don't have a filter. I'm impatient. I'm a loyal, trustworthy friend.

27. A quote you try and live by: The most wasted of all days, is one without laughter (E E Cummings)

28. Somewhere you'd like to visit: All of Canada, coast-to-coast, England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia

29. Five weird things you like: Dry cereal with a glass of milk

30: One thing you're excited for: Addison's birthday

Keep on truckin'

Mom and I got talking about school tonight and how on earth I'm ever going to finish this degree. I want it more than anything. I hung up the phone and I cried because I want it so bad, but it's not going to pay for itself. Having taken a year off to have a baby makes it a little difficult to fork over so much money to keep going. OSAP is nice enough to give me dick all. Go figure. I don't qualify for a penny this year. Fuck you, OSAP. Thanks for nothing.

I will finish it. I will! I just want to do it RIGHTNOW. It's so frustrating. On top of money, distance education is just hard all-round. Registration is difficult, exam locations have to be set and paid for, only so many classes are available...the list goes on.

On top of that, of course, we have Addison to deal with. It'll be hard getting back into the swing-of-things, especially with a needy one year old attached to my boobs hip. If I need to go to campus (three hours away), I have to make sure someone is available to watch her, or get her into the school day care for a few hours while I write my final. While staying in Ottawa, I'd need to find a place that can accomodate both of us. Just thinking of this is already stressing me out.

I thought about seeing if the local college had anything to offer that I could transfer into my degree. Maybe the campus in Toronto close to the apartment has something? *sigh

I got caught up in it and looked at this semester's registration at CU on a whim. Somehow there are still two courses open that I need! The kicker? $1251.77 before books and correspondence exam fees. 1200 fucking dollars for TWO fucking courses. Give me a break. I just want to keep going. I need to keep going, but I can't afford it.

Fuck you, post-secondary education. Fuck your expensive self.

Time to get a job.

Watching paint dry

That's what I did today. I wasted a day with my mom perfecting a brand new paint job on my front hallway, only to discover we were painting over an oil base. As the fantastic paint job dried, it began to peel. As we pulled the paint tape off, it began to peel off even more. We hadn't thought to primer, as the walls were basically white to begin with. The walls are textured, which adds to my frustrating (though they do look pretty when painted properly). We spent forever and a day trying to fix it and touch it all up. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see what it looks like. Hopefully it'll be okay and we won't have to start over.

Now I know for next time? Unfortunately we only have three more spots left to paint in the entire house. I've learned my lesson a little too late.

I should probably go to bed now. I've tried to once already and failed miserably. Addison went right out and I felt really tired but just couldn't shut my brain off. Instead, I came downstairs and stared at my new half-ass green walls and did a load of laundry. Awesome.

Time flies

I can't believe it's already May! Addison is six months old. This year is flying by!

Kelly had been visiting up in Sudbury and came back home to see me on my birthday yesterday. I hadn't seen her since August. We got to catch up and play with Addison together all morning. She got engaged last weekend so there was a lot of wedding talk, of course. She probably won't get married for another few years (once she's done school) so I have plenty of time to try and convince her to have dresses like this:

 

and hats like this:

 

 Seriously though, the one thing she does know is her colour scheme: pale green and cream. So maybe something more along these lines:

Awesome, right? Haha. This will be fun. Congrats, to my best friend!

In other birthday news, we took Addison to the park after Kelly left. It was gorgeous outside. Finally! We've only had about two days so far where it hasn't been cold and rainy. Yesterday was 20+ out there. The park was flooded (as always) but the swings were fine. She seemed to enjoy herself. She hadn't slept at all the night before, so thankfully she went down for nearly two hours when we got home. After that, we went to my parents house for a bit.  Addison stayed with them while Isaac and I went for a nice long walk around town and dinner at our favourite local pub.  It was a very good day!

And so the countdown begins

Isaac's parents got home from their trip on Friday. Kerry has to work all weekend, though, so I won't see her until some time next week. I'm sure we'll hear all about their lovely Caribbean sun :)

We had Easter dinner at my parents place on Friday, since Kerry works all weekend. My mom actually does too but she was off at a decent time on Friday so we went for it. I cooked the ham and it turned out perfectly! Addison wore her new outfit Mom had gotten for her for Easter. I put red leggings on her instead of just the diaper cover because it was cool.

Cousins

I gave Addison her Easter basket early, simply because we were going out and I wanted her to wear her bonnet. She got that outfit, her dress she had worn to go see the Easter bunny, a book, and this bunny shaped teether (that she LOVES).

Baby in a basket

Addison and Morgan had a good time together, though Morgan was being super clingy and pretty fussy. All in all it was a good afternoon dinner.

Isaac had been looking at bikes recently and I woke up this morning to "Want to go to Ottawa?" Sure enough, he had fallen in love with one he had seen on Kijiji that was for sale in Kanata. I got out of bed at 8:30 and we were on the road around 9. It's in really good shape and it was a great deal, so he got what he wanted! While we were there, we grabbed some lunch and went to my old work to catch up with some old co-workers. Unfortunately with it being such a last minute trip on Easter weekend, not too many others were around. That just means we'll have to get up there again soon and give everyone a little notice!

Addison wasn't awake for very long but we brought her new teether and the FP Puppy to keep her company, just in case.

This is how she looked for most of our trip there and back (5-6 hours total).

Checking out Daddy's new ride

Next up: Isaac's driving to Guelph to get Laine tomorrow. My niece should be born any day now. Then it's my birthday. Then an election. Then Mother's Day. Then Morgan's birthday. Then Ryan's birthday.

More about us

Isaac's home on Paternity Leave and the weather is improving day-to-day. I'm one happy girl! We took Addison for her first hike through the woods recently while there was still snow on the ground. I wore her in my Maman Kangourou carrier. Best invention ever! She cried for some food, but then she passed right out, snuggled up to me. We cooked some hot dogs over a fire. Good times all round.

Lastnight we went to my brother's for one last party before his daughter gets here. I can't wait to see her! They'll have their hands full, though. Morgan is scootin all over the place. She'll be walking in no time. I can't believe she's almost one!

I'm struggling to get everything I need for the occasions coming up. Everything is so close together. Isaac's parents get back from their trip on Easter, then my niece is due, then my birthday, Morgan's 1st birthday, my parents anniversary, Isaac's parents anniversary, and Ryan's birthday. The Easter bunny has started shopping and I know 1/2 things I'm getting Morgan, but that's it! And I have a little birthday list, but really I just want a date with Isaac.

Addison is struggling to take bottles but we're working on it. She's still exclusively breastfed (yay!) but it'd be nice to leave her with our parents and a pumped bottle for a but. We're getting there. We'll be starting solids at the end of April, which should be fun.

Addison has mastered rolling back-to-belly but rarely goes the other way. We've lost a lot of sleep lately, having to constantly flip her back over because she cries when she's stuck. It's not fun. Everyone thinks she's teething too, the poor girl. What else? She took her 4 mos shots a little better but wasn't feeling so hot the next day. Could've been better, could've been worse.

This is getting long and she just woke up from a nap so I'm gonna go. More to come!

Day 27: Pets

We have no pets right now. One day we will, when we live out of town again. In the mean time, we'll enjoy Grandma and Grandpa's cat (Ralph), Nana and Grandpa's cat (Sulli) and my brother's dogs (Maverick and Kiwi). I'd like to have one cat and one dog. I want a cat like the ones in the TP commercials:

 

And a Cane Corso or Golden Retriever:

Day 26: Picture of your family

Hey there, smiley baby!

You had to have your first immunization shots at the doctor lastnight.  Needless to say, it was terrible for both you and me.  I made Nana come with us to the doctor's office.  I should have made her come into the room with us.  Paige checked you out - everything looks good - and you were so happy, but then I had to hold you in my lap and squeeze your leg between mine while she gave you two needles, one in each thigh.  Awful.  I don't want to think about it until we have to do it again two months from now.  You were fussy when we got home but no fever or anything.  You didn't fall asleep until 11 pm but once you did, you were out like a light.  You slept until 7:45 this morning, got up to eat, then passed out again until 10:45.  Awesome.

That brings us to the topic of sleeping.  You're really good at it, and it makes us both very happy.  Of course you have your moments that we just can't figure out, but for the most part, you're napping during the day and sleeping a good six-seven hours at night.  Hopefully that keeps up!

Breastfeeding is going very well too, which is fantastic.  You took on right away and we haven't had any problems.  Feeding times have decreased, because you're getting more milk in a shorter period of time now.  It was really exhausted in the early days when you'd want to eat for 45 minutes straight.  Now you're good at about 20.  You're basically burping on your own now each time, too.  That makes a big difference.

You smile like crazy and love when people talk to you.  You're very happy and relaxed.  Everyone comments on it.  You've been a very laid back baby since day one.  You're bringing your hands up to your mouth and trying to get them in there all the time.  That means your co-ordination and motor skills are improving.  We put you in your exersaucer a few days ago (even though you're too small) and you grabbed hold of one of the toys that has a flower on it.  We've also started putting you in your swing, which makes you smile, and inevitably puts you to sleep.  You hate tummy time but you lift your head right up when you're on our shoulders or chests.  You make noise all the time now, from different cries, depending on what you want (though you still really only cry for food, the rest is just kinda fussing) to coos.  It's adorable.  I can't wait to one day hear you laugh and speak.

You lost all the hair on top of your head, so you've been rockin a mullett for the past few weeks.  The bottom and the back is still dark brown with a little curl.  As of lastnight's doctor's appointment, you're up to 11 lb 5 oz, and you're 57.5 cm (23 inches) long.

There's much more to tell you about, like your first Christmas, your cousin Morgan (who has a sister on the way), and trips to see your Great Grandpa and Great Uncles, but I need to get dinner!

Getting the hang of it...6 weeks

The Santa Clause Parade was last week.  Hilarious!  Even for a small town parade.  It was really short, and full of everything from a goat in a santa hat (with no association, just being walked by its owner down the street) to a fire truck with a "For Sale" sign on it.  Classy.  There was also a man dressed in a terrible Halloween costume walking with the Curling Club.  I guess he was supposed to be a chicken (who knew?) because he held a sign saying "Don't be a chicken; try curling."

You seemed to enjoy yourself when you met Great Grandma last weekend too.  She saw you awake, sleeping, happy, and sad.  You showed her all sides, and she just loved you!  Most of the time when you meet people you're sleeping lol.  It was kind of nice that she got to actually see your personality.  Since that visit, she has sent you a ton of clothes and toys.  I can't even describe how many clothes you have now, it's getting a little overwhelming.  Hand-me-downs are one thing but distant family members are spending a lot of money on new outfits and you have so much that I'm afraid you won't be able to wear them all.  Seriously.  There have already been a few sleepers that you never got a chance to wear because they fit you everywhere but your feet.  Your feet are too big!  If people insist on getting you clothes - the thought is nice - I'm trying to tell them to go bigger rather than smaller, but it's hard.  Baby clothes are "too cute not to buy."

What are you doing these days?  Holding your head up and burping up a storm.  You're still not sure what to do when we put you on your stomach.  You move your legs like you want to crawl already but you don't do anything with your head so it's really awkward for you and hilarious for us to watch.  You're still eating well most of the time, though we've had some moments lately where you just stop part-way through and scream for no apparent reason.  It looks like you've forgotten how to eat because you just won't go back but you're clearly still hungry, and you don't know where to go.  I'm not sure why and it's really difficult, but thankfully it doesn't happen often. As for sleep, you've been doing a lot of that lately.  We think it's a growth spurt because you're sleeping and eating for long periods of time during the day and at night.  At night you had been sleeping 3-4 hours regularly and now you have periods here and there of 5.  One time you even slept for 6 hours straight!

We both had doctors appointments recently.  Your last one was December 30 and you were up to 9 lbs 10 oz!  Two pounds since birth!  That's right on track.  Everything looked good and you didn't even pee on the table this time lol.  As for me, everything's healing properly and looking good.  I basically talked to Dr. Chanda about birth control and the odds of a c-section next time.  I don't plan on having any more kids for another two years or so but you just never know.  She gave me a prescription for the only pill that won't affect my milk supply, and we discussed VBAC's.  The success rate is around 80% but for me personally, unfortunately, it's about 50-60%.  Something I hadn't realized was that you didn't fit properly inside of me.  You just didn't have enough room.  I mean I could see that for myself but I don't remember anyone officially telling me that.  I guess they did in the hospital but they tell you a lot when you're exhausted and drugged up, so who knows what you'll actually remember.  My body didn't expand quite the way it should have (like my hips, they didn't widen whatsoever) so it would have been difficult for you to get through the birth canal even if you had wanted to (which you didn't).  Next time around, I could choose a c-section because of that, or I could choose to try a vaginal delivery.  It's up to me.  I can't see myself choosing a section, that's for sure!  I'll try my best!  Let's check back in a year or two and I'll know more.  I'm happy with just my baby for now!

Nana and I have conquered the mall with you three times now.  The last time we went, I had planned to get your picture taken with Santa, but I forgot your outfit at home.  Very sad.  Grandma said she'd take us next week, though.  We'll go later at night and hope that the lines aren't very long, like they weren't this week.  Nana bought you this adorable fancy little black and white dress from Children's Place for only $10!  It's black velour on top and the skirt is black and white tule, like a little tutu.  I can't wait to see you in it.  It's hilarious.  You'll hate me when you're 16 for it, I'm sure, but it's too cute.  I plan on getting wear out of it with a picture with Santa Claus, Christmas at both grandparents houses, and Megan and Brandon's party.

Meg and Brandon are having a "fancy party" next Friday night.  We're not ready to leave you alone with anyone yet because you've never had a bottle before, so you're coming with us.  We obviously won't be there long.  We'll stop by for a short visit with everyone and leave, but we're all still dressing up anyway.  I've gone through my wardrobe and all of my dresses fit me again, so I can't decide which one to wear myself yet.  I plan on putting you in a sleeper for all four of the previously listed events and bringing the dress and tights etc. along so that you can't poop or puke on it before everyone sees you.

Call me Grandma...Gran...Grandma...Nana! Call me Nana!

Five weeks already...You've been rolling from your back to your side(s) since you were three weeks old.  That makes me worry about how quickly you'll be doing everything.  Didn't expect this much movement so soon!  You're really trying to hold your head up now, especially when you're lying on someone's chest.  You're getting the hang of it, though that poor head of yours is often getting whipped around when you get too excited.  You'll lift it, then something will get your attention and it just flies from one side to the next.  It doesn't seem to bother you, thankfully.  You're officially smiling now too.  That happened around 3 1/2 weeks.  At first babies kind of smile here and there but really it's just a reflex.  Now you can see it in your whole face when you're happy and really focused.  It's adorable.  What else are you doing?  You've learned how to burp pretty regularly, which makes eating a much happier experience for both of us.  You'll feed from one side for a bit, let out a big ole burp, then keep going.  Well not always that easily, because you fall asleep so easily when you're eating, but that's the basic goal and it seems to be going well.

You like being put up on our shoulders now and laying on people's chests.  You didn't like that at first but now it calms you down pretty darn quickly.  It gets hard though when you fall asleep like that so I don't want to move you, but my arm falls asleep.  Today I tried to put you in your carrier (just around the house) and you fell asleep in both positions I tried.  Good sign!  I think you'll like it; you love being carried and being close to someone, so I don't see why not.

The carrier will also make it easier until Nana and I figure out this stroller-fitting-in-the-car business.  Wait, before I finish that thought, my mom is going by "Nana."  Officially.  First she was "Gran," then "Grandma," and finally "Nana."  The first seemed old, and the second just didn't fit for her, so Nana it is!

Personality at 3 weeks old

Your feet and arms never stop moving.  You're always making faces, especially in your sleep.  You've been really attentive from the moment you came into this world.  You focus as best you can on whoevers talking, and follow my voice as well as Isaac's whenever we talk to you.  We didn't expect that for a little while yet, and it makes us smile every time to see.  Yesterday you were laying on Grandma G's chest and you started bobbing your head around a bit.  You'll be holding it up on your own in no time.  Isaac put you on your stomach on our bed last weekend and you moved your legs like a little frog.  We're in trouble once you start crawling!  If this keeps up, you'll be up and at it in no time.  Isaac walked early at 9 months but I was so late with crawling and walking (almost 15 months) that I had to see a specialist to make sure nothing was wrong with my back!  Turns out I was just lazy, and eventually became a runner, so you just never know how!

You have a nice full head of hair, but not too much like those babies that come out with crazy afros and mohawks!  You have more hair than Morgan lol, your six month old cousin (who you haven't met yet).  Sometimes baby hair falls out and grows back in later.  I hope this doesn't happen because I'm in love with yours.  Dark with a little girl when it gets wet.  I forsee thick, dark, curly hair.  It's in both of our families.  Your eyes are a reeeeally dark grey-blue but they'll probably change.  I love the colour now, though.  You have long eye lashes like Isaac (I hope that stays too!) and big feet like me.  Sorry, kiddo.  Hopefully you'll grow into those.  Everyone who looks at you says you look like me.  Neither Isaac nor myself can see it yet.  Time will tell.  Both Grandmas have very strong genes, so it'll be interesting to see what you get from whom.

Personality-wise, it's still too early to see.  You only cry for food though, which is wonderful.  It's so easy to tell what you want at any given time.  Of course you have your moments as we all do, but 99% of the time if you're upset, it's because you're hungry.  You sleep through dirty diapers and puke, and make a face (if anything) if you have gas.  We're currently struggling to get you to burp because you've been eating until you puke for the last few days.  Hopefully you'll learn your limit soon and stop yourself before you have too much.  Grandma H was bouncing you on her knee yesterday and you let out two good burps on your own, so I know you have it in you!  Once you learn to burp regularly I think you'll sense when you're full a little easier.  As for sleep, you are a solid sleeper like me!  It's great.  You sleep for 3-4 hours at any given time (day and night), wake up to eat, I'll change your diaper, and you're out again for another 3-4.  We actually struggle to wake you up if we need to.  Once you're out, you're out!

You love to stretch out, especially laying on your back on the couch.  If we take you out in the stroller or truck, or if you've been sitting in your chair, you're happy as can be once we set you down to get a good stretch.  You arch your back really far and even tip your head toward your back so your body is in a total U shape.  You also enjoy the bath, which we do every other night because you sleep well afterward.  If Daddy's here, he's actually been getting right in the tub with you (since I still can't bend over that far) in your pink Winnie the Pooh tub (from Cody, Shawna, and Chris from Ottawa).  I fill it up and check the temperature with the turtle toy (from Sarah from Ottawa), wash your face, then strip you down and put you on your little hammock in the tub, and Daddy washes you up.  You've fallen asleep on us a few times, and never cried.  You don't like getting out sometimes, but I don't blame you.  It's cold!  We try and make it as warm as possible, and if we're fast enough with the towel, blanket and clothes, you don't cause a fuss.

I can't imagine the person you'll become.  I hope you're motivated, funny, care-free and fun-loving like Isaac.  I hope you're honest, not afraid to talk about your problems, and enjoy school like me.  I hope you set goals for yourself and don't let anything stop you from pursuing them.  I hope you're smart about relationships, you wait for the right person, and when you find that one, I hope you don't hold back.  I hope you don't settle for anything less than the best and one day find a man as good to you as Isaac has been to me.  I hope you learn to use your words (not your fists) in an argument in a way that proves your point, without being cruel.  I hope you're not afraid to come to us, your cousins, and/or your aunts or uncles for help, advice, a laugh, or a shoulder to cry on.  I hope you ask a lot of questions and want to learn about everything, even when your asking over and over and over starts to drive Mommy and Daddy crazy.  I hope you understand that when we ask you not to do something, it's for your own good.  One day you'll discover that we know this because we tried to do the exact same thing, and I understand that once you know this you'll one day throw it in both of our faces.  That's ok.  I hope you understand that Mommies and Daddies make mistakes too, and sometimes we've also had to learn our lessons the hard way.

I hope you like Peanut Butter.  I hope you don't like tomatoes, because Isaac and I don't, so we never buy them.  I hope you listen to all kinds of music like we do.  I hope you find a hobby you love, like guitar or soccer.  We won't push anything on you that you don't want to do, but extra-curricular activities are a great way to learn about yourself and meet kids your age.  I hope you have a teacher that you will never forget.  I hope you like the outdoors.  I hope you can appreciate a good book.  When you learn to read, however, I hope you're not as anal as I am about proper grammar and spelling.  It's a good thing to know but it drives other people crazy sometimes.  I hope you enjoy having time on your own as well as with family and friends.  While we all hate small towns at some point in our lives, I hope you always remember where home is.  I hope you want to travel and explore different places, learning about other lifestyles, and cultures.  I hope you love to laugh until you cry, but know when it's appropriate to be serious.  I hope you're lucky enough to have the same friends for as long as Mommy has.  I've known Uncle Laine, Uncle Vaughn, and Aunt Kelly since Kindergarten!  I hope you're not scared of thunderstorms like me.  If you are, Daddy will be here to show you that you're okay.

It scares me to think that one day you'll learn of all the bad people in this world.  I hope you know that bad people can sometimes pretend to be good, and look like anyone else.  I hope you stay safe and never run into a bad person.  You might think nothing bad would ever happen in a small town but crazy things can happen anywhere, and unfortunately, there have been bad people here that you'll hear about one day.You just have to remember that for every bad person there are thousands of good ones who are there to help you and love you.  I went to school to learn how to put these bad people away, and make sure they can't hurt anyone else.

I hope you learn that you have to work for what you want in life; it isn't just given to you, and sometimes it won't always work out the way you want.  When you're older and think that you're in this alone, you're not.  I've been there.  Isaac's been there.  You might get fired from a job.  You might fall for a boy who likes someone else, or you might have your heart broken in a relationship.  You might break a bone.  A girl in your class might be your best friend one day, and talk about you the next.  I hope none of these things ever happen to you, but if they do, don't be afraid to talk to someone about it.  Growing up can be hard, but we've all gotten through it.

I hope you never experience a death of a loved one, especially like I did growing up.  One day you'll learn about Wyatt, Tristan, Drew, Erin, Dave, Mrs. Foster, Mrs. Cassibo...The list goes on, sadly.  I'll take you to Wyatt's Memorial Chainsaw Challenge and I'm sure his sister Whitney will be babysitting you one day.  I'll take you to Erin's Memorial Baseball Tournament and the ALS Walk that we do for Dave.  You'll learn why Mommy never wants to see you near the green bridge in town.  When you're in third grade, I'll read you "The Witches" like Mrs. Foster did to me...Death is something a child should never have to experience, but all of these people have left me with stories to pass along to you.

Birth Story (part 2) and our hospital stay

Now to continue with your never-ending, wonderful stories!  It's still bizarre to me to think of how quickly the delivery process is with a c-section.  I had no idea.  My perception of time was rather skewed but even Isaac says it only took about 10 minutes.  He had to stay in the hallway while I got prepped and pumped full of some more drugs that are necessary for a c-section.  Thankfully they were able to administer them through the IV I already had, so I didn't need any more needles.  That was done so quickly I didn't even know it had happened.  I guess they normally use a variant of Morphine in sections but they were able to give me something else, thank god.

I remember Isaac was let in and Dr. Chanda pressing against my body in a line, then telling me there would be a lot of pressure.  "A lot" is an understatement.  That hurt!  While I couldn't feel the pain of them cutting into my body (again, I had no idea that was even happening), it's not nice to feel someone pressing into your stomach with all of their weight.  I have no idea what they were doing but she kept pushing around in there and it was beyond uncomfortable.  Amazingly, in a matter of minutes it went from that to "Daddy,do you want to see?" and he watched you come out of me!  They lifted you up over the curtain so I could see you, then took you away (with Isaac) to get you weighed and cleaned off.  7 lbs 10.8 oz.  Just that previous Thursday Dr. Chanda had guessed your weight would be 7 lbs 12 oz, which was pretty darn close!

It took another 20 minutes or so to get me cleaned and closed back up, unfortunately.  Isaac stayed with you until he could bring you over to me while they finished everything.  We took some pictures and he described his terrified reaction of seeing you coming out looking rather purple.  All the doctors and nurses (there are MANY in the room with you in a c-section) were smiling and saying "Congratulations" though, so he knew nothing was wrong.

He stayed with you to do the APGAR test and whatever else they do to you right away, while I got cleaned up and wheeled into the recovery room, and the two of you soon followed.  I knew I had been given some more drugs but didn't realize just how frozen I was.  The nurses had been patting me with a bag of ice and I had to tell them when it was cold and when it wasn't.  Turns out, at this point, I was frozen from my armpits down!  I'm not sure why they give you that much, it was kind of crazy.  I actually had to wait about half an hour to feed you because I couldn't feel that part of my body.  Meanwhile, you laid in your bed next to me smackin your lips, hoping I could help you out.  Thankfully when it came time to feed you, you caught right on and it hasn't been a problem yet!  I remember laying there frozen before I could feed you and one of the nurses asked what your name was and we still hadn't decided!  Your first name is one I threw out a few months ago that he liked, and your middle name is Grandma G's middle name.

We had a semi-private room, but it was not very nice at first.  You'd think the entire space would be split evenly, but that's not the case.  We had a tiny little section with no view, enclosed entirely by a curtain.  There wasn't even a chair because there wasn't room for one!  The other side had a big window, window seat, bed, chair, and tons of space to boot.  We lucked out though, because the couple there was just leaving and suggested we take their space before anyone else moved in, so that's exactly what we did.  We had that space to ourselves for a little bit, before a woman came in next to us who hadn't had her baby yet, but was dealing with kidney stones.  She was in a great deal of pain and had a husband and young one at home to worry about.  She left Wednesday morning.

Wednesday afternoon, a couple came in with the loudest baby imaginable.  I swear I will never forget the sound that baby made because it didn't even sound like a baby crying.  If I didn't know, I would've thought it was a little pig or some other small animal.  It was awful, the poor boy.  All the nurses said you were the quietest on the floor (even when you cried, which isn't often) and unfortunately he (Braydon) was the loudest!  The mom kind of drove me crazy, too.  She was really nice but FULL of complaints, even though she had a natural delivery that took 3 hours in total, with only 20 minutes of contractions.  The baby came on his due date which was also her anniversary with her husband.  She had plenty to be happy about, but all she did was complain.  She had a midwife so she could've gone home within a few hours but ended up spending the night with her mom and the baby because she wanted to speak to her pediatrician, who wasn't in until the next day.  They all left Thursday morning though and we had the room to ourselves until we left Friday at 1.

Originally we had asked to not have visitors because we hadn't anticipated staying very long.  Having ended up there from Monday night until Friday afternoon, we okayed it, which resulted in everyone wanting to come.  You're only supposed to have two visitors during the hours of 2-4 and 6-8 but we had more than that each time on Wednesday and Thursday and no one said anything.  Between those four times, we saw both Grandmas and Grandpas, Uncle Laine and Vaughn, Uncle Ryan and Aunt Nicole, Megan, Brandon, your second cousin Cherise, and (Aunt) Kelly.  I don't think you even opened an eye for anyone besides the twins.  Your grandparents brought us lots of snack foods, which was greatly appreciated, and Kelly brought us Swiss Chalet.  The hospital food was better than expected but it's still not as nice as real food!  Uncle Laine and Vaughn got you a lined silver sippy cup, spoon and fork that's engraved with your name on it.  Super cute.

The nurses on the floor were all wonderful.  We had one nurse named Wendy and another named Kerry lol.  Daddy actually knew Stacey, the nurse we had Thursday night.  She was really nice and put up with me having a big crying fit regarding supplementing.  Babies lose weight when they're in the hospital but it's not a huge concern unless and until it's 10% of your original birth weight, at which point they have to supplement a breast fed baby with formula until the mom's milk came in.  Well I was told my milk wouldn't come in for about a week because of having had a c-section, and you lost 7% of your weight, so they were a little worried.  That's fine, but they all knew I wasn't giving you a bottle (especially at two days old).  There are other ways of doing it if need be, if you had continued to lose weight (which you didn't).

I was unimpressed - to say the least - when your pediatrician, Dr. Vanier, told me she was concerned you would continue to lose weight because she was so sure my milk wouldn't come in any time soon.  We had been told we'd leave either Thursday or Friday, but Dr. Vanier wouldn't release you on Thursday because of said concern.  She went on to tell me that I had no choice but to supplement you with formula via a bottle.  When I asked about other ways, she wouldn't even discuss them.  At one point she told me they'd be too difficult to do at home so I may as well get used to a bottle now.  I put my foot down and you were not given formula.  She wasn't happy with me and she caused such a fuss that I spent Thursday night crying, just wishing we could go home.  Stacey listened to me rant and raised a good point, that if I had had a vaginal delivery and gone home on Wednesday, I never would have known you'd lost any weight and the supplementing would be a non-issue until you were weighed again at your first doctor's appointment within the week.

When Dr. Vanier came in to check on me early Friday morning, I was stressed and upset, and made even moreso as I expected her to send us home, but she had more bad news.  She didn't want to send us home in case you lost more weight because it's hard to get help on the weekend.  We'd have to go through Emerg, which is a royal pain.  Considering you had only lost 7% I did not understand why she was turning it into such a big deal.  I needed to get us home.  As we had this conversation, I was about to feed you in front of her and saw that my milk had come in.  We struck gold.  I insisted that we were taking my breast milk (not a bottle of formula) and going home that day.  She said she'd weigh you and we could go accordingly.  With that feed, you gained an ounce (yay)!  With the next one - three hours later, as they make Moms wake up their babies to feed every three hours - you had gained another ounce.  The nurse named Kerry came in with some paper work and information about breast feeding, safe sleep, and my recovery, and we were released immediately.

It was sunny out but really windy and cold.  The drive home didn't take any longer than usual but it felt like forever.  We were greeted at home by Uncle Laine and Uncle Vaughn.  I went upstairs to try and get some more sleep in between feeding.  It took us a while to get our stuff unpacked and the house tidied up again.  As I write this three weeks later, my incision is still sore, but getting much better.  I have an appointment with Dr. Chanda on December 2 to make sure all is well down there.  You've seen Trixie and Donna at the Health Centre and you're gaining weight left right and centre!  You were down to 7 lbs 3 oz when you left the hospital, and you're currently up to 8 lbs 3 oz!  You'll see Paige from now on every month or so.  Your next appointment is on the 30th.

As for your life outside of the hospital, it has been wonderful.  Sometimes I look at you and still can't believe we made you.  You were inside of me only three weeks ago.  I don't know how you fit in there, but you were pretty darn cozy.  You were dancing around in there right up to the last second.  Dr. Chanda told me you came out with your umbilical cord wrapped around your feet!  Silly girl.