Shaking things up

I left work in August of 2010 and never looked back. It was the best decision for the three of us, and I've loved it more than I ever could have imagined. I'm still in school, and I do want to go back to work, but I really do love being a stay at home Mom. It's not easy. It's exhausting, and frustrating at times. But it's also pretty amazing to be there for every milestone and watch your child grow right before your very eyes. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's a learning curve, but I know one day I'll look back and cherish these moments.

I'm not ready to go back to work yet, but I am getting a little anxious to mix things up a little. I need more adult interaction on a day-to-day basis. There isn't much to do around here, and gas is too expensive ($1.34 this week) to go far. Addison is really starting to get attached to both of us, and we're quickly seeing the benefit of her spending time with other people, and other babies. She loves play group, and visiting friends and the girls. She loves going to our parents houses and spending an afternoon away from us, outside of her normal routine.

We're going to Ottawa next month for my birthday. Hopefully I can see some old friends. It will be an adventure with her in the car for three hours, but I'm excited. I can't wait to go there more often now that it's nice out, and show her all that our capital has to offer.

Soccer starts a few days after we get back. I'm not sure what age I'll be coaching yet, but I'm ready for a new challenge. I did it years ago and had so much fun. We'll have one practice during the week and one game either Friday night or Saturday morning. Addison will go with grandparents or Ryan during the week, and hang out with Isaac on the weekend. Once it's dry, I'm sure she'll enjoy watching from the sidelines.

I was recently offered a job at the Garden Centre, which should start up in April. I'm also looking into Summer School, providing the courses I need are available. It will be nice to get back into a bit of a schedule. It will make for a busy Summer, but I'm ready for a change.

Update

My posts have been pretty scattered lately. Sorry. I've been really busy with a sick baby and reading for school.

Addison's finally starting to get back to her normal self. I can see a few teeth coming in, so that on top of a nasty cold equals one angry baby! Yesterday I had a break from both baby and school. I did a little shopping while she stayed with Grandma. I'm told she had a great time dancing, checking out the Christmas tree, and playing with all the kittens.

I bought all my gifts a while back but still needed some stocking stuffers and had to (finally) put up Addison's Advent calendar. This year she's getting LeapFrog's Fridge Phonics Magnetic Alphabet Set. Most days will be one random letter, but there are some snacks in there as well. On the 25th she'll get an ornament and the remaining pieces to put it all together on the fridge.

I have no idea what anyone's getting her for Christmas. I had a few toys we had been looking at for her for her birthday, and she got every single one! Now our house is over-flowing so who knows what this month will bring, or where we'll put everything. I'm trying to stick with the four present rule from us, as well as one thing from Santa. Something she wants, something she needs, something to wear, and something to read. Check back with me in a few years and I'll let you know how we're doing.

As for me, I've been reading, reading, reading. I've never been stressed about an exam until now. The one on Friday is worth 70% of my grade! 70! It's a subjective final, where I'll be asked to write short essays on a select group of topics that we've discussed this semester. I have a decent grade going in but I'm worried because a) 70% is an awful lot, and b) I don't know that much about the topics for this half, compared to those we discussed for the midterm. I was much more interested in that half than this. It's also hard to buckle down and read about child soldiers or terrorism for a day, while you have a baby attached to your feet. I think I've got the basics down pat. Hopefully. Wish me luck!

I'm considering applying for a few local jobs in the new year just to get out of the house a few times a week. We'll see. I think it would be good for me to have some adult company, and good for Addison to spend more time with the Grandparents. I'm so thankful that I am able to stay at home full-time with her but part of me wants a little change. Again, we'll see.

Update

Final midterm marks for both classes: 70
I'm not happy, but I'm sick of complaining. Onward and upward.

In other news, I took Addison to the cenotaph for Remembrance Day today. We followed the parade down to the park and watched the ceremony with Nicole. It was cold, but nice. I plan on taking her every year until she's in school.

After that, we came home and she had a wonderful 2.5 hour nap. Mom came over and we went to town to get some Christmas shopping done. She got a bunch of goodies. I can scratch Dad off my list now. I also picked up a Christmas sleeper for Addison (on sale for 8.99 + no tax day + 20% discount = $7.20), and a toy each for Morgan and Hannah (that Nicole had suggested). I still need to get them books. And I have no idea what to get Isaac, as per usual. He'll be the last one I buy for. So far all I can think of is coveralls. Boring, but practical. I'll keep wracking my brain...

I haven't decided what to get Addison yet. Her quilt will (hopefully) be done by then, which is a huge thing. Not sure what she'll need. I feel like she was just bombarded with toys for her birthday. It's hard to stay on top of everything. I'd really like to stick with the "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read." This year that could be _____ (a big, fun present), the quilt, a holiday dress/PJs, and a Christmas book. I don't know. Maybe something will catch my eye in the next two weeks. I really want to get this done before finals roll around, though.

PS: It's 1:19 am. Wtf? Why am I still awake?

Oh school, how I've missed you

/sarcasm

I have no assignments and I'm losing my mind. My grades this semester are entirely based on exams. I hate exams. HATE. Especially multiple choice. Long story short, I've spent far too much time grumbling and groaning about a recent midterm I wrote. It was not well written, and the shitty class average (mine included) reflects that. It pisses me off that so far, the only "advice" the prof has given is that we should think about how we studied for the midterm, and do something differently for the final. Thanks for nothing, right? WebCT has blown up with complaints, as well as suggestions for the future. It's beyond frustrating. I studied my ass off for that exam and I am not happy with my mark whatsoever. The worst part is that there are so many distance students that extra credit is not an option. So we're stuck.

Poop.

I didn't miss you, CU. Nope, nope, nope. I didn't miss shitty midterms. I did not enjoy spending a weekend in a hotel in Ottawa with a screaming baby who refused to sleep in her play pen, only to go write a shitty exam and come out with a shitty grade.

Poop.

/rant

To-do List

Between now and Nov 7:

• Clean the house!

• School: PSYC readings: Chapter 2, 3, 4, 5
• Wash Addison's birthday outfit (The one gift she'll open on her actual birthday)
• Ottawa: Pick up playpen from Mom's, Book hotel (Oct 28-29), Pack 1/2 bags (1/2 done), set aside outfits/shoes with a blanket and coat, stock up diaper bag, pack play pen sheets
• Addison's party: Banner, wreath, quilt, table for presents/cake, buy tablecloth/card/drinks, make cupcakes/mac salad, blow up/hang balloons
• Halloween: Buy box of Candy to bring to Ryan's, set aside outfit/shoes to wear under costume, with a blanket and coat

• Oct 26: Addison's birthday
• Oct 28: Ottawa/LAWS midterm
• Oct 29: PSYC midterm/home from Ottawa
• Oct 30: Addison's birthday party
• Oct 31: Halloween
• Nov 7: Isaac's birthday

I'm a giddy little school girl

Isaac is helping me pay for two classes that were still available, and I couldn't be happier. They both sound great!

Crime, Law, Process and Politics: Criminal law process in Canada; structure and use of the process examined for fairness, defects, and possible reform initiatives. Issues concerning gender, race and class bias in the implementation and application of the criminal law.

Criminal Behaviour: Psychosocial approaches to the classification and treatment of offenders; theories and research relevant to selected patterns of law breaking and selected offender types; the effectiveness of offender treatment.

Sweet! Classes are Thursday night and Saturday morning, so my plan is to watch the lectures Fri and Saturday around noon once Addison goes to bed, doing my readings once she's up, and writing Monday-Thursday. That's tentative, of course, since I haven't seen the syllabuses yet, but I think it's good to have a plan going in. It'll be hard to stay on track if I don't have a schedule in place.

Wish me luck.

Keep on truckin'

Mom and I got talking about school tonight and how on earth I'm ever going to finish this degree. I want it more than anything. I hung up the phone and I cried because I want it so bad, but it's not going to pay for itself. Having taken a year off to have a baby makes it a little difficult to fork over so much money to keep going. OSAP is nice enough to give me dick all. Go figure. I don't qualify for a penny this year. Fuck you, OSAP. Thanks for nothing.

I will finish it. I will! I just want to do it RIGHTNOW. It's so frustrating. On top of money, distance education is just hard all-round. Registration is difficult, exam locations have to be set and paid for, only so many classes are available...the list goes on.

On top of that, of course, we have Addison to deal with. It'll be hard getting back into the swing-of-things, especially with a needy one year old attached to my boobs hip. If I need to go to campus (three hours away), I have to make sure someone is available to watch her, or get her into the school day care for a few hours while I write my final. While staying in Ottawa, I'd need to find a place that can accomodate both of us. Just thinking of this is already stressing me out.

I thought about seeing if the local college had anything to offer that I could transfer into my degree. Maybe the campus in Toronto close to the apartment has something? *sigh

I got caught up in it and looked at this semester's registration at CU on a whim. Somehow there are still two courses open that I need! The kicker? $1251.77 before books and correspondence exam fees. 1200 fucking dollars for TWO fucking courses. Give me a break. I just want to keep going. I need to keep going, but I can't afford it.

Fuck you, post-secondary education. Fuck your expensive self.

Time to get a job.