Now where were we?

It has been far too long since I last wrote in this. I kind of took a step back from blogs and some social media sites for a few months. It's nice to take a break. But it's also nice to keep a journal of sorts and keep track of the fun goings on in our lives, so here I am.

For the first time in months I can confidently say that I feel really good about myself and really happy in general. While I would love to be working and in school right now, I am truly enjoying being a SAHM more than I ever could have imagined. We are the luckiest parents of the most beautiful, hilarious little girl. Her personality is showing more and more each day, and her vocabulary is expanding rapidly. She was an easy baby and - knock on wood - she is a pretty laid back toddler. While I have been known to lose my cool a time or two, I have also learned to be patient with her. Anyone who knows me, knows how much of an accomplishment this is. She is still easy re-directed and I can often get her to talk out her problems before a mega meltdown even occurs. Not every time, of course, but it's a pretty solid start.

Our main concern lately has been her attachment. It's partly her age, but I'm sure it's exacerbated by Isaac being gone so often for work. She's with me so often that we're having some trouble getting her comfortable with others. She does warm up eventually but sometimes it takes a long time, and it really is exhausting to have her hanging off of my neck when we have company over. We're working on it.

In other news, Winter seems to have finally left. It felt like it never would. We kind of skipped Spring and we're into 25+ weather now. Pull out the shorts and dresses, Summer has arrived! Addison and I have been doing a lot of outdoor spring cleaning and gardening. She loves it. I've had so much fun watching her smell the flowers, point out the different colours, dig the holes, and pour the watering can. She has it all down pat. We planted some more goodies up front, and started both an herb and vegetable garden. Fingers crossed that we get something out of it.




I'm having a blast coaching U5 soccer this season. I had only intended to be a convenor but we had so many kids sign up that we were short coaches. My 12 11 (B. just quit) kids are amazing. It is such a fun challenge. I try to do a warm up, teach them a skill, and then do a scrimmage, but sometimes it goes better than others. I have a wide range of personalities from super duper shy introvert, to professional outgoing player. I can't wait to see how they all end up by the end of June. We're making huge strides already. Just last Thursday I had every single one of my kids on the field at some point during the game, and they all kicked the ball. This might not seem like much, but I was so impressed. I cannot wait for Addison and Morgan to play next year.

More updates to come soon (and more often)...

 

Five. FIVE!

After 2.5 hours of running around doing drills with Mr. Soccer Coach Extraordinaire, we were on our last drill, when I went down. This poor 14 year old (who I don't know, and has never coached before) and I went after the same ball, and collided. I immediately knew what happened: Lateral patellar dislocation #1 2 3 4 5 for yours truly.

After a lot of screaming and a little swearing, I finally calmed down enough to explain to everyone gathered around me that this was a recurring injury. Upon inspection, the others decided it was best to call an ambulance. It started raining and it was already only 5 (41F) outside, and I was stuck on the grass until they arrived from a neighbouring town 20 minutes later.

 Most of the (young) coaches were rounded up and sent inside while a handful of others offered First Aid, gave me water, and covered me in as many blankets and coats as they could find. Surprisingly, this time, I never lost consciousness. I was talking to everyone, and able to describe exactly what happened. The boy that I hit felt awful. He wasn't really talking to anyone, and he kept saying it was his fault. I tried telling him this is #5. Definitely not his fault.

Isaac wasn't answering his phone, and I needed him to come with me to the hospital. I sent Katie M. to Ryan's house, and Ryan went to get Isaac. He took Addison while Isaac followed me to the hospital. The driver was fantastic; the trip was pretty smooth. The EMT in the back with me was really laid-back and easy to talk to. He kept apologizing profusely for having to cut my pants, and asked eight billion times if I was warm enough.

Thankfully my knee popped back into place, so we were only there for three hours. I had three x-rays taken and received good news that there are no fractures. I was sent out with a small brace in a wheelchair, as I already have an immobilizer and crutches at home. I'll be out for a good six weeks, and heading to physiotherapy. The ER doctor recommended I go once or twice a week for the next 10-20 years! I didn't have to see Ortho this time, but I do still have to follow-up with my regular doctor and see what the next step is. The ER doctor didn't want to jump the gun because it did go back, and there are no fractures, but on the other hand, this is not the first time this has happened. Or the second. Or the...You get the idea.

So I guess on Monday I'll be calling the doctor and hobbling my way in there as soon as possible to discuss my options. I have hypermobility and patella alla, but I don't know if there is anything out there that can "fix" that. Surgery options have been discussed in the past, but I'm not sure if they're still applicable now, nine years after the first incident. I want to ask my doctor if any of this is genetic. If so, is there anything I can do for Addison, or will she be stuck in this same unfortunate position? Is there anything permanent I can do for myself? Will I wear a brace every day from here on out, do my exercises, and still throw it out another three times?

I'm terrified to hear what she'll tell me. I know my knee is not ever going to be "normal" but the thought of dealing with this again, even just once more, is killing me. It's the most painful thing I have ever experienced, including labour. It's a long recovery process and it's frustrating as hell to be so helpless. I don't know how on earth I'm supposed to take it easy while I'm on my own with an 18 month old. She obviously doesn't understand, and all night, all she wanted to do was climb up on the couch and play. It's already breaking my heart to not be able to get down on her level and do what she wants. I can't take her outside because I won't be able to grab her if she runs off in the wrong direction. I can't put her down for a nap because my stairs are impossible. I can't even pick her up because I am unable to bear my own weight, never mind another 20 lbs. Instead, I get to cry in pain, take some drugs, sleep downstairs on the couch alone, and have someone else put my pyjama pants on for me because I can't do it alone. I hate this. I hate everything about this injury. It's barely been 12 hours and I'm so, so angry.

EDIT: I've always played sports, but few of my past injuries were sports-related.
August 2003, 16 years old: Babysitting (Dislocation, fracture)
March 2006, 18 years old: Dodgeball (Dislocation)
June 2006, 19 years old: Slipped on a bathroom floor (Dislocation)
May 2008, 21 years old: Cartwheel (Subluxation)
April 2012, 24 years old: Soccer practice

 

Shaking things up

I left work in August of 2010 and never looked back. It was the best decision for the three of us, and I've loved it more than I ever could have imagined. I'm still in school, and I do want to go back to work, but I really do love being a stay at home Mom. It's not easy. It's exhausting, and frustrating at times. But it's also pretty amazing to be there for every milestone and watch your child grow right before your very eyes. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's a learning curve, but I know one day I'll look back and cherish these moments.

I'm not ready to go back to work yet, but I am getting a little anxious to mix things up a little. I need more adult interaction on a day-to-day basis. There isn't much to do around here, and gas is too expensive ($1.34 this week) to go far. Addison is really starting to get attached to both of us, and we're quickly seeing the benefit of her spending time with other people, and other babies. She loves play group, and visiting friends and the girls. She loves going to our parents houses and spending an afternoon away from us, outside of her normal routine.

We're going to Ottawa next month for my birthday. Hopefully I can see some old friends. It will be an adventure with her in the car for three hours, but I'm excited. I can't wait to go there more often now that it's nice out, and show her all that our capital has to offer.

Soccer starts a few days after we get back. I'm not sure what age I'll be coaching yet, but I'm ready for a new challenge. I did it years ago and had so much fun. We'll have one practice during the week and one game either Friday night or Saturday morning. Addison will go with grandparents or Ryan during the week, and hang out with Isaac on the weekend. Once it's dry, I'm sure she'll enjoy watching from the sidelines.

I was recently offered a job at the Garden Centre, which should start up in April. I'm also looking into Summer School, providing the courses I need are available. It will be nice to get back into a bit of a schedule. It will make for a busy Summer, but I'm ready for a change.

A quick update

Historical Data! Norm: -4 to +5 (25 to 41)

• It was bright and sunny all day. 24 (75) degrees in March! Record-breaking!
• Addison LOVES being outside. Can you blame her?
• She's still not eating well or sleeping great, but she looks much better and is slowly feeling like her normal self again
• We went shoe shopping on the weekend and Addison scored three new pairs of shoes for $26. Pictures to come once her feet heal and she can break them in. Runners, sandals (similar to last year), and Mary Janes. I also picked up black flats for myself for only $10.
• Addison goes outside after lunch and will scream bloody murder when you finally have to bring her inside for dinner at 5:30. She wants to stay out there and collect sticks.
• Xplornet sucks.
• Addison loves it outside.
• Isaac is working nights.
• Soccer registration is this week. I'll find out in early April which age group I'll be coaching: U7, U9, or U11. Cross your fingers that the fields dry up in time.
• The Easter bunny will be here soon!
• Hannah is almost one!
• Have I mentioned how much Addison loves being outside in this great weather? She'll do laps around the house, inspecting the trees and gardens. She has to touch everything.
• I'm almost 25! I'm excited to get up to Ottawa for a visit with some old friends.
• Morgan is almost two!

Where have the past two years gone?