Disappointment in the doctor's office

I was really excited to get a last-minute appointment with the surgeon yesterday, but came out rather disappointed with the results. I've dislocated my knee five times in nine years. There have also been a few fractures, and ongoing instability. Throw a toddler into the mix, and - needless to say - I'm pretty overwhelmed at the thought of this continuing to happen. I was 17 when it first happened, at which point I was warned that it was highly likely to happen again. We talked surgery, but decided against it because I was so young, in hopes that I would recover well and not have to worry about it again any time soon. At that point I had "qualified" for two different surgeries. Unfortunately the injury happened again, and again, and again, and again! Surgeries were often discussed, but scratched from the list for one reason or another: It's a long recovery, I was moving three hours away to go to University, it might not help, and it could actually further my injury, rather than help it. So here I am five dislocations later wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do. It's become a day-to-day fear, not knowing if I can safely walk down the street without my knee giving out, or worse. Unfortunately my surgeon informed me that they have cut back on the number of knee surgeries and he doesn't do as many as he used to. The only one he does now helps tracking, which is basically how your knee cap moves within your knee/leg, and where it settles when you stop moving. My tracking at this point is (relatively) okay. My patella goes where it's supposed to, and stays where it should, but for some reason it still goes out. There's no point in putting me through a long painful surgery that is meant to cure tracking, when that's not my main concern. However, would it be better than nothing? I'm not sure. Basically, he could operate and maybe have it dislocate again in the future. Or I could do nothing, and never have it dislocate again. It's a (huge) gamble. Physiotherapy hasn't worked, nor have braces, so we need to do SOMETHING, we just don't know what. In the end, he said he'd consult with his colleages and get back to me within a week as to what we do now. He doesn't feel comfortable leaving it without doing anything, but he also doesn't feel comfortable doing a tracking surgery. I guess it's a waiting game now, and I'll just have to see what he says when I hear back.
 

This and that

I'm not very good at keeping up with this blogging business. What have we have been up to lately...

 I'm finally off of crutches. I'm not too sure what the next step is for my knee. I'm waiting to hear back from Ortho, and we'll go from there. For now, I'm still taking it easy. I've started taking Addison outside, but it's difficult (and terrifying) to be on your own in town with a toddler who's faster than you are. Thankfully she's really good at holding my hand when I ask. The rule is that she must stay on the grass at all times, or we go inside immediately. Normally I'd let her wander a bit farther and give her one warning if she's too far, but at this point, I can't take the risk. If she were to run, I physically cannot run after her right now, so I keep her close by. It's only been a few days, but so far, so good.

I got a lot of (good) reading done while I was held up. I'm catching up on cleaning that didn't get done, and starting to conquer the house To Do list. So far I've painted the downstairs bathroom door, the Spare Room closet, and some of the trim. Baby steps.

I'm learning to garden. Yes, you read that correctly. Anyone who knows me probably thinks I'm kidding, but I'm enjoying it. It's not a full time favourite hobby by any means, but I'm starting to appreciate my new curb appeal. Mom has always loved flowers and gardening. It was never my thing. Now that we've done some landscaping and I've put together the two front gardens, I'm noticing a huge difference. I started small, with easy plants and flowers. I didn't want to take on more than we could handle. I'll see how everything makes out by the end of the Summer, and decide whether to take on more or less next year. So far everything is growing quickly and flowering nicely. This week I've had three people compliment me on the front gardens and our new plants. I've enjoyed brainstorming what could go where. It's actually kind of fun.

Mother's Day 2012: Bleeding Hearts, Hostas, yellow Lanium

June 1 2012: Everything is growing! Hens&Chicks in the front, as well

Hosta Garden (planted in 2011): Hostas, Flocks, white Lanium, and a random Lily that was here when we moved in

Not much is new around the house or with the tenants. No big issues; no big complaints. Isaac sold his bike last weekend. It was fun while it lasted, but he's not home often enough to justify the price of insurance and gas. The plan is for him to get one again once he's home full time. The guy he bought it from is great. He's coming to pick it up next week.

Addison is growing like crazy, and learning something new every day. Lastnight she started saying "Ya!" and "Yaaaaay," which she claps along with. She knows all kinds of body parts and animal sounds. She loves to count from 1-10 in English and French. She favours numbers two, five, and nine. She understands simple commands like "Sit on your bum," "Wash your arms," and "put it in the garbage." When you ask her to clean up or put something away, she'll happily put things back in their proper spot, one by one. If it's time to go, she'll say "Coat! Shoes!" She gets everyone else's stuff and gives it to them, then gets her own. When she comes in from having played outside, she immediately sits down and takes her shoes off. Sometimes she doesn't even let the door close. She loves to read, and will point out things she knows in her books, such as cars and dogs. While reading about the Berenstein Bears going to bed recently, she said "Night night."

She's had a hard time with men lately, besides Isaac, and sometimes her Grandpas. She'll cry and turn her head, so as to not even see them. It takes her a long time to warm up to them, if she ever does. She's been a little more clingy and upset with small crowds lately as well. She sees other babies and young kids regularly, but I think I need to make a point of it more often. Now that I'm starting to venture out again, I think I'll take her to play group weekly. She'll also have swimming lessons again later this Summer. It's good for both of us.

I think that sums up our last few boring weeks. I leave you with this crazy picture from this morning, of my little toddler tornado. I went upstairs to get dressed. In that time, she managed to take her jumper off, empty the bin of baby supplies, empty a container of wipes, open and dump out a pack of diapers, dump her Cheerios on the floor, and pull a blanket off the couch. There's also a random measuring cup in the Living Room that was not there before I left.

My craptastic day (Coles Notes version)

• Had a follow-up for my knee with the family doctor. I was under the impression that I had not broken anything this time round. The paperwork the hospital sent her states otherwise! The hospital also "forgot" to send a copy of my xrays to her, so she's sending me back for more.
• Addison has at least two teeth coming through, and screamed through Morgan's birthday party today.
• I still need help with Addison, as I'm in an immobilizer and on crutches. The people who offered to help me tomorrow and the next day bailed today, with no explanation. I'm on my own with her, and I have no idea how I'm going to do it.
• Isaac is working all weekend.

 

This is not fun.

I've been such a grump since I got hurt. It's beyond frustrating to not be able to take care of yourself, never mind a toddler. I've gone out to the mall twice, just to get out of the house. I'm going stir-crazy. It's difficult, but manageable at this point. Thankfully this injury is not nearly as bad as those in the past, which means I'm in much better shape at two weeks than I was then at a month. However, that does not mean I'm getting off scott-free. I still need help getting dressed, and getting in and out of the bath tub. I use crutches to slowly go up the stairs, then slide them down next to me as I go downstairs on my bum. I can't put weight on my bad leg yet, which means I can't properly pick up Addison, and put her down in her crib. I can only hold her if I'm sitting comfortably and lift her up in a certain way. She obviously doesn't understand, and it's heartbreaking to hear "Mama up! Up! Maaamaaaaa!" all day. Being on crutches means I might be able to get from room-to-room, but I cannot carry anything. I eat my lunch standing at the counter beside my fridge, and let Addison snack off a plate on the floor. Getting her changed and dressed is quite a feat. I'm kind of glad that it's been so rainy and gross lately, because I feel slightly less guilty for not taking Addison out to run around. When it's just us, my only option is to sit with her on the deck, when what she really wants to do is run laps around the entire house, and go for long walks around town. I had to turn down a job offer, and pull out of soccer. I didn't get to go to Ottawa for my birthday. While Isaac is at work, Addison and I have spent time with my mom, Nicole, and Kerry. They've been a great help. I know that these are tiny, insignificant problems in the grand scheme of things, but it's still pretty sucky when it happens to you. I should be out of this immobilizer by the weekend, and into a smaller brace, still with crutches. I meet with the doctor on Tuesday for another follow-up. Cross your fingers for a quick, easy recovery.