Now where were we?

It has been far too long since I last wrote in this. I kind of took a step back from blogs and some social media sites for a few months. It's nice to take a break. But it's also nice to keep a journal of sorts and keep track of the fun goings on in our lives, so here I am.

For the first time in months I can confidently say that I feel really good about myself and really happy in general. While I would love to be working and in school right now, I am truly enjoying being a SAHM more than I ever could have imagined. We are the luckiest parents of the most beautiful, hilarious little girl. Her personality is showing more and more each day, and her vocabulary is expanding rapidly. She was an easy baby and - knock on wood - she is a pretty laid back toddler. While I have been known to lose my cool a time or two, I have also learned to be patient with her. Anyone who knows me, knows how much of an accomplishment this is. She is still easy re-directed and I can often get her to talk out her problems before a mega meltdown even occurs. Not every time, of course, but it's a pretty solid start.

Our main concern lately has been her attachment. It's partly her age, but I'm sure it's exacerbated by Isaac being gone so often for work. She's with me so often that we're having some trouble getting her comfortable with others. She does warm up eventually but sometimes it takes a long time, and it really is exhausting to have her hanging off of my neck when we have company over. We're working on it.

In other news, Winter seems to have finally left. It felt like it never would. We kind of skipped Spring and we're into 25+ weather now. Pull out the shorts and dresses, Summer has arrived! Addison and I have been doing a lot of outdoor spring cleaning and gardening. She loves it. I've had so much fun watching her smell the flowers, point out the different colours, dig the holes, and pour the watering can. She has it all down pat. We planted some more goodies up front, and started both an herb and vegetable garden. Fingers crossed that we get something out of it.




I'm having a blast coaching U5 soccer this season. I had only intended to be a convenor but we had so many kids sign up that we were short coaches. My 12 11 (B. just quit) kids are amazing. It is such a fun challenge. I try to do a warm up, teach them a skill, and then do a scrimmage, but sometimes it goes better than others. I have a wide range of personalities from super duper shy introvert, to professional outgoing player. I can't wait to see how they all end up by the end of June. We're making huge strides already. Just last Thursday I had every single one of my kids on the field at some point during the game, and they all kicked the ball. This might not seem like much, but I was so impressed. I cannot wait for Addison and Morgan to play next year.

More updates to come soon (and more often)...

 

My craptastic day (Coles Notes version)

• Had a follow-up for my knee with the family doctor. I was under the impression that I had not broken anything this time round. The paperwork the hospital sent her states otherwise! The hospital also "forgot" to send a copy of my xrays to her, so she's sending me back for more.
• Addison has at least two teeth coming through, and screamed through Morgan's birthday party today.
• I still need help with Addison, as I'm in an immobilizer and on crutches. The people who offered to help me tomorrow and the next day bailed today, with no explanation. I'm on my own with her, and I have no idea how I'm going to do it.
• Isaac is working all weekend.

 

Five. FIVE!

After 2.5 hours of running around doing drills with Mr. Soccer Coach Extraordinaire, we were on our last drill, when I went down. This poor 14 year old (who I don't know, and has never coached before) and I went after the same ball, and collided. I immediately knew what happened: Lateral patellar dislocation #1 2 3 4 5 for yours truly.

After a lot of screaming and a little swearing, I finally calmed down enough to explain to everyone gathered around me that this was a recurring injury. Upon inspection, the others decided it was best to call an ambulance. It started raining and it was already only 5 (41F) outside, and I was stuck on the grass until they arrived from a neighbouring town 20 minutes later.

 Most of the (young) coaches were rounded up and sent inside while a handful of others offered First Aid, gave me water, and covered me in as many blankets and coats as they could find. Surprisingly, this time, I never lost consciousness. I was talking to everyone, and able to describe exactly what happened. The boy that I hit felt awful. He wasn't really talking to anyone, and he kept saying it was his fault. I tried telling him this is #5. Definitely not his fault.

Isaac wasn't answering his phone, and I needed him to come with me to the hospital. I sent Katie M. to Ryan's house, and Ryan went to get Isaac. He took Addison while Isaac followed me to the hospital. The driver was fantastic; the trip was pretty smooth. The EMT in the back with me was really laid-back and easy to talk to. He kept apologizing profusely for having to cut my pants, and asked eight billion times if I was warm enough.

Thankfully my knee popped back into place, so we were only there for three hours. I had three x-rays taken and received good news that there are no fractures. I was sent out with a small brace in a wheelchair, as I already have an immobilizer and crutches at home. I'll be out for a good six weeks, and heading to physiotherapy. The ER doctor recommended I go once or twice a week for the next 10-20 years! I didn't have to see Ortho this time, but I do still have to follow-up with my regular doctor and see what the next step is. The ER doctor didn't want to jump the gun because it did go back, and there are no fractures, but on the other hand, this is not the first time this has happened. Or the second. Or the...You get the idea.

So I guess on Monday I'll be calling the doctor and hobbling my way in there as soon as possible to discuss my options. I have hypermobility and patella alla, but I don't know if there is anything out there that can "fix" that. Surgery options have been discussed in the past, but I'm not sure if they're still applicable now, nine years after the first incident. I want to ask my doctor if any of this is genetic. If so, is there anything I can do for Addison, or will she be stuck in this same unfortunate position? Is there anything permanent I can do for myself? Will I wear a brace every day from here on out, do my exercises, and still throw it out another three times?

I'm terrified to hear what she'll tell me. I know my knee is not ever going to be "normal" but the thought of dealing with this again, even just once more, is killing me. It's the most painful thing I have ever experienced, including labour. It's a long recovery process and it's frustrating as hell to be so helpless. I don't know how on earth I'm supposed to take it easy while I'm on my own with an 18 month old. She obviously doesn't understand, and all night, all she wanted to do was climb up on the couch and play. It's already breaking my heart to not be able to get down on her level and do what she wants. I can't take her outside because I won't be able to grab her if she runs off in the wrong direction. I can't put her down for a nap because my stairs are impossible. I can't even pick her up because I am unable to bear my own weight, never mind another 20 lbs. Instead, I get to cry in pain, take some drugs, sleep downstairs on the couch alone, and have someone else put my pyjama pants on for me because I can't do it alone. I hate this. I hate everything about this injury. It's barely been 12 hours and I'm so, so angry.

EDIT: I've always played sports, but few of my past injuries were sports-related.
August 2003, 16 years old: Babysitting (Dislocation, fracture)
March 2006, 18 years old: Dodgeball (Dislocation)
June 2006, 19 years old: Slipped on a bathroom floor (Dislocation)
May 2008, 21 years old: Cartwheel (Subluxation)
April 2012, 24 years old: Soccer practice

 

Shaking things up

I left work in August of 2010 and never looked back. It was the best decision for the three of us, and I've loved it more than I ever could have imagined. I'm still in school, and I do want to go back to work, but I really do love being a stay at home Mom. It's not easy. It's exhausting, and frustrating at times. But it's also pretty amazing to be there for every milestone and watch your child grow right before your very eyes. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's a learning curve, but I know one day I'll look back and cherish these moments.

I'm not ready to go back to work yet, but I am getting a little anxious to mix things up a little. I need more adult interaction on a day-to-day basis. There isn't much to do around here, and gas is too expensive ($1.34 this week) to go far. Addison is really starting to get attached to both of us, and we're quickly seeing the benefit of her spending time with other people, and other babies. She loves play group, and visiting friends and the girls. She loves going to our parents houses and spending an afternoon away from us, outside of her normal routine.

We're going to Ottawa next month for my birthday. Hopefully I can see some old friends. It will be an adventure with her in the car for three hours, but I'm excited. I can't wait to go there more often now that it's nice out, and show her all that our capital has to offer.

Soccer starts a few days after we get back. I'm not sure what age I'll be coaching yet, but I'm ready for a new challenge. I did it years ago and had so much fun. We'll have one practice during the week and one game either Friday night or Saturday morning. Addison will go with grandparents or Ryan during the week, and hang out with Isaac on the weekend. Once it's dry, I'm sure she'll enjoy watching from the sidelines.

I was recently offered a job at the Garden Centre, which should start up in April. I'm also looking into Summer School, providing the courses I need are available. It will be nice to get back into a bit of a schedule. It will make for a busy Summer, but I'm ready for a change.

Just.Stop.Screaming.

Someone help this poor girl out. Addison is teething like crazy and it's awful, to say the least. She's chewing on everything (especially her hands) and doesn't want to eat. She's had a fever, puked, had a runny nose, and hasn't slept in a week. Not just slept poorly. No sleep at all. No nap for three days in a row, and up countless times each night. Thankfully Isaac came home on Wednesday so I had an extra set of hands, which is always much appreciated. It's really hard, and incredibly exhausting. Thankfully this semester is done and Christmas is right around the corner, so we'll be home together a little more often over the next few weeks. I hope Addison feels better soon so she can actually enjoy it.

Update

My posts have been pretty scattered lately. Sorry. I've been really busy with a sick baby and reading for school.

Addison's finally starting to get back to her normal self. I can see a few teeth coming in, so that on top of a nasty cold equals one angry baby! Yesterday I had a break from both baby and school. I did a little shopping while she stayed with Grandma. I'm told she had a great time dancing, checking out the Christmas tree, and playing with all the kittens.

I bought all my gifts a while back but still needed some stocking stuffers and had to (finally) put up Addison's Advent calendar. This year she's getting LeapFrog's Fridge Phonics Magnetic Alphabet Set. Most days will be one random letter, but there are some snacks in there as well. On the 25th she'll get an ornament and the remaining pieces to put it all together on the fridge.

I have no idea what anyone's getting her for Christmas. I had a few toys we had been looking at for her for her birthday, and she got every single one! Now our house is over-flowing so who knows what this month will bring, or where we'll put everything. I'm trying to stick with the four present rule from us, as well as one thing from Santa. Something she wants, something she needs, something to wear, and something to read. Check back with me in a few years and I'll let you know how we're doing.

As for me, I've been reading, reading, reading. I've never been stressed about an exam until now. The one on Friday is worth 70% of my grade! 70! It's a subjective final, where I'll be asked to write short essays on a select group of topics that we've discussed this semester. I have a decent grade going in but I'm worried because a) 70% is an awful lot, and b) I don't know that much about the topics for this half, compared to those we discussed for the midterm. I was much more interested in that half than this. It's also hard to buckle down and read about child soldiers or terrorism for a day, while you have a baby attached to your feet. I think I've got the basics down pat. Hopefully. Wish me luck!

I'm considering applying for a few local jobs in the new year just to get out of the house a few times a week. We'll see. I think it would be good for me to have some adult company, and good for Addison to spend more time with the Grandparents. I'm so thankful that I am able to stay at home full-time with her but part of me wants a little change. Again, we'll see.

Hi ho, hi ho. It's off to work [he goes]

Isaac, that is. He ended his leave on a high note with the wedding August 6, then headed back to a brand new work project August 8. They're just starting to build a power plant in New Market, so it's a nice change for him, being out of the city. The downside - and it's a big down - is that he now works five days a week. 10 years into this damn company and he goes from four days to five. *sigh

It's already been hard to get used to having him gone. It's more difficult taking care of Addison on my own now than it was before his Pat Leave because she's so much more active. She doesn't take a breath, and only has one nap a day. She's crawling everywhere and reaching for everything. She puts everything she sees in her mouth and knows how to push her boundaries. Thankfully we have the pocket doors closed and one gate up, so we can easily keep her in the Living Room, but it's still exhausting. I'm constantly pulling her back from the TV stand, and picking her up when she tumbles backward from standing alongside the couch.

I need to start job hunting asap to get money for school, but there isn't much here. I'm hoping to find something casual/part-time in town so that I can leave Addison with her grandparents or my brother and not have to worry about paying for day care. God only knows how much that costs. I also don't want her to miss out on what little time she now has with Mommy AND Daddy together. With Isaac only being home Fri night - Sun night, I really don't want to be working all weekend. I want to enjoy being a family.

It will pay off in the end. It will pay off in the end. It will p...

Keeping busy and enjoying the weather

We finally got a week or so with no rain. YAY! Unfortunately it's coming back with a vengeance tomorrow, but that's besides the point. For now, we shall enjoy it! It's currently 24 outside. LOVE!

So our crazy month is just about up. Easter, Hannah's birthday, my birthday, election, Mother's Day and Morgan's birthday have all (finally) passed. Next up is Ryan's birthday, then the craziness dies down a little.

Somehow I didn't get a chance to get on here and talk for days about the election. Long story short, I didn't get to work it because Elections Canada cannot accommodate nursing mothers. Hopefully I'll get to do it next time. While I'm very upset that Harper won a majority government, I'm incredibly happy with the many other stories that came from May 2. NDP is our official opposition for the first time in Canadian history. Go, Jack, Go! Ignatieff stepped down as Liberal leader after an abominable finish, and Duceppe resigned, as the Bloc loses recognition as a formal party. Finally, Elizabeth May won her own riding and got the Green Party their very first seat in Parliament. There is one heck of a silver lining here after all. We can only go up from here, Canada.

Mother's Day was nice and quiet. We had my (belated) birthday party on May 7, after which Isaac, Addison and I stayed in the trailer. It was a really nice afternoon/night out at the lot with a camp fire and a few good friends. I got to sleep in the next morning as Isaac cleaned up. He made me breakfast at home and Addison and I spent the rest of the day shopping in Belleville with my Mom. It was perfect, being able to spend the day with my Mom and daughter. Mom bought us some flowers so we spent the afternoon fixing up the front garden beneath the picture window. It looks so much better already!

Morgan's turned one on Wednesday. I still cannot believe she's already one! Where did this past year go? She'll hold on to your finger and walk pretty quickly all around the house, and she can get up and down from the couch by herself. She's drinking milk and using sippy cups now. I see her often and I'm still in disbelief.

Ryan and Nicole had a small party for her with family and a few friends, an Eeyore cake and lots of presents. It was cute to watch her pick at her piece of cake and bat some balloons around. She got kind of cranky though, and had no interest in her birthday hat or any pictures.

Addison has just passed out on the floor in the Living Room as I write this, and Isaac is off measuring the lot with his Dad and Laine. I'm going to do some laundry. Hopefully I can get Mom's camera and upload some recent pictures.

And so the countdown begins

Isaac's parents got home from their trip on Friday. Kerry has to work all weekend, though, so I won't see her until some time next week. I'm sure we'll hear all about their lovely Caribbean sun :)

We had Easter dinner at my parents place on Friday, since Kerry works all weekend. My mom actually does too but she was off at a decent time on Friday so we went for it. I cooked the ham and it turned out perfectly! Addison wore her new outfit Mom had gotten for her for Easter. I put red leggings on her instead of just the diaper cover because it was cool.

Cousins

I gave Addison her Easter basket early, simply because we were going out and I wanted her to wear her bonnet. She got that outfit, her dress she had worn to go see the Easter bunny, a book, and this bunny shaped teether (that she LOVES).

Baby in a basket

Addison and Morgan had a good time together, though Morgan was being super clingy and pretty fussy. All in all it was a good afternoon dinner.

Isaac had been looking at bikes recently and I woke up this morning to "Want to go to Ottawa?" Sure enough, he had fallen in love with one he had seen on Kijiji that was for sale in Kanata. I got out of bed at 8:30 and we were on the road around 9. It's in really good shape and it was a great deal, so he got what he wanted! While we were there, we grabbed some lunch and went to my old work to catch up with some old co-workers. Unfortunately with it being such a last minute trip on Easter weekend, not too many others were around. That just means we'll have to get up there again soon and give everyone a little notice!

Addison wasn't awake for very long but we brought her new teether and the FP Puppy to keep her company, just in case.

This is how she looked for most of our trip there and back (5-6 hours total).

Checking out Daddy's new ride

Next up: Isaac's driving to Guelph to get Laine tomorrow. My niece should be born any day now. Then it's my birthday. Then an election. Then Mother's Day. Then Morgan's birthday. Then Ryan's birthday.

No excuses

As most Canadians know, Stephen Harper has been charged with Contempt of Parliament, which has lead  to the upcoming Non-Confidence Vote on May 2.  I've always followed basic politics, whether they interest me or not.  I feel like it's my duty to be aware of what's going on in the world around me and the world I just brought a child into.  While it may seem like it at times, all politicians are not the same, nor do they believe the same things.  They are certainly not all "criminals."

Saying you just don't know how to vote is ignorant.  If you can't find the time to figure out what everyone stands for, I believe you are lazy.  I don't expect everyone to be interested in politics, follow them religiously, and know how many pets Jack Layton owns or what Stephen Harper likes for breakfast.  Just take five minutes out of your life and research the basic party platforms.  Is Education important to you?  The Economy?  Crime rate?  Military?  See what the five leaders have to say about it.  The bottom line is if you don't bother to vote, then you have no right to complain when the "bad guy" gets in or things happen that you disagree with.

Canadian citizens who choose not to vote have always gotten on my nerves.  I've convinced Isaac to finally vote this year, and couldn't be happier.  I don't care who he votes for, just that he's doing it at all.  This year will also be the first time that I'll be working at a poll.  It's not the most exciting job I'll ever have for a day, but I feel like I'm doing a good deed.  I consider it a step in the right direction on behalf of my generation, most of whom "can't be bothered."

Make an educated decision and do your civic duty.  Go vote on May 2.

Upcoming events

Things to look forward to!

• Apr 21: Training to work at the election
• Apr 22: In-laws get home from their vacation
• Apr 22: Easter weekend
• Apr 28: My Niece's due date
• Apr 29: University ends, Isaac's brothers come home
• Apr 30: My birthday
• May 2: Election (That's not very exciting in itself, but I'm pretty pumped to do some easy work for great pay)
• May 8: Mother's Day
• May 11: My other Niece's 1st birthday
• May 23: My Brother's birthday (Is Brother capitalized?)

Day 29: Three wishes

1. To be a good Mom and have a good relationship with my daughter and any future children. I want to set a good example for her to be happy and successful in what she does.

2. Get a good job that I love. Too often you hear about people hating their jobs and missing out on their passion.

3. To have fun and get to do things with my kids that I never got to do. I want to travel and take her on vacations. I want to have date nights with Isaac and play dates with my nieces...This list could go on and on

Day 17: What you're looking forward to

• Our first date post-baby, with just the two of us
• Getting back up to Ottawa for a visit to see everyone
• Addison's firsts...Roll, words, steps, birthday, everything!
• The birth of my second niece
• Finishing school
• Getting a job
• My brother getting married

The list goes on!